-----Author's Note----
The following and all proceeding entries have an air of melancholy and defeatist. They are full of excuses, and were written by a depressed me. More recently I've taken control of my mood and I CHOOSE to be positive from now on. I will leave the previous entries published so that I can remember where I came from and where I don't want to go again. (There were some good days, but not many.)
I was all set to write about how my deodorant is leaving rashes on my pits, and how well our eating well and my exercising is going. I even was toying with the idea of exploring my options for keeping my hair clean with working out every day, while still maintaining it's lack of plastics integrity. I was contemplating which I would write about after my lesson with Rosetta Stone, but then I almost could have died.
Forgetfulness and cooking on the stove are a combination that, I don't think, could end in anything but disaster. I know for a fact that there was no ill intent from Axure in his forgetting his food item on the stove. So I harbor no hostility towards him. But the fact is that he did forget, LOTS of carbon monoxide happened, and if I hadn't acted when I did (kinda wished I'd known to act sooner) I could be dead now. No, I didn't see my life flash before my eyes. It didn't compute as a near death experience until I was laying on the cement outside. I am glad that I was able to figure out what was going on, and how to counteract it.
It started when I was in the shower. When I came out of the bathroom, it already smelled like burnt bread. Since I've known Axure to cook bread on an open flame in the past, I took the smell to be just that. He was in his room practicing guitar and singing, so I assumed the worst was over, and he'd taken care of it. I proceeded with my Rosetta Stone lesson, as I stated before. I was a few minutes in when I started feeling woozy. I've felt this way before for other reasons, so I thought it might just be that again. But then it kept getting worse. Granted, in the past, it also got worse over time. It was much later that I realized the smell hadn't gone away, it had just gotten much worse. I was no longer able to focus, so I shut down my program and stumbled my way into the kitchen. it was then that I found a burning pot of what could have been soup on high, on the stove. My quick wit told me to turn it off, turn the fan on high, and open the kitchen window. Having been in the kitchen for the short amount of time that I had, in the concentration of the burning smoke stuff, I was now very very not well. I opened the window in the dining room, next to where I was sitting and realized I could no longer see straight at all. I tried to hang my head out the window, but my body felt to weak to hold myself up there long. I made my way to the front door, fumbled with all the locks and forced my way outside. I sat on the front stoop with my head in my hands but even that was too wobbly of an experience to I put my head down on the grass. The fresh air started to help a bit. At least I wasn't getting any worse. But there were ants now crawling on my head (Eewe, Gross!), so I moved my head back to the steps and shut my eyes. I laid there for a good while until Puese got home from work. He found me where I lay, brought me water, and opened the rest of the windows in the house. It was a little while after Puese got home that Axure came out of his room. Me, in my feeble state, could not have said anything to him much higher than soft inside voices. Puese sat with me until I was able to sit and then eventually stand. Then helped me all the way around to the back door and into bed. It took a long while, but I was eventually able to move around without stumbling or feeling like I was going to pass out. I did have to burp a lot (and still do). The burning was all I could smell for a long while too. It was in my system, and taking it's time to come out. To my surprise, I didn't feel worse while riding in the car later, and food did help.
Today, I still am feeling the symptoms of it a bit, and was not up for exercise, so I spent most of the day sleeping. I've found that I can see straight, but if I move too quickly, my wooziness kicks in a bit. I hope I feel better tomorrow, and can get back to dancing. From what I know about exposure to carbon monoxide and smoke, I am a little worried about the possibilities of permanent damage to my brain. I feel like I seem okay, but only time will tell with that.
I've also been a little introspective today, but I suppose that is to be expected. What's not been expected is that I don't think I'm reacting to this the way that some people would, or I've heard about. My introspection has been more about why I've reacted the way I have, instead of how I'm going to act from now on. I kinda am not in the mood to do anything.
